Saturday, June 14, 2008


Pessimist Prime:
Thinks the glass is half empty.

Optimist Prime:
Can turn into a diesel truck.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Robot Tanks

Now completely Katate-chop proof.

Classic Robot Joke

How many robots does it take to screw in a light bulb?


One to screw in the light bulb...

And one to f*** your wife while you are at work slaving away in a job you hate, working for some asshole you hate.


Yeah, I don't even get that joke.

And I think it is a little more personal than necessary.

But it is a classic!

Robot Hospital

Welcome to Robot Hospital.

We can help you with all of your robot medical needs.

We have a state of the art emergency room complete with porn star nurses... We specialize in:

Hernia operations...
Pacemakers...Physical therapy...
Face removal therapy...
Epidurals... (Robotchuma Robotchuma!)

And even carpel tunnel surgury...
Because you have to be careful about where you get your robot carpel tunnel surgury done.

This robot went to a non-robot hospital...
(Botchedchuma Botchedchuma)

Startling Stories

So a robot kidnaps a half-naked babe and starts shooting everybody else with his death ray?

If you knew what I knew about robots, you wouldn't find this story all that startling.

In fact, it's pretty typical.

Amazing Adventures

So this robot is making out with a lady while being controlled by a little green monster?

Again, based on my robot experience, this isn't really all that "amazing".

Planete Interdite

I don't know what "planete interdite" means, but this is pretty much business as usual isn't it?

Robots Who Look Like Their Owners

It's a strange phenomenon...

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Warning: Never Ask A Robot To Pull Your Finger

They are not familiar with our customs. They don't understand that after they hear the noise they should stop.

They will keep pulling until your finger comes right off your hand.

And that will just result in a smelly and bloody mess for everyone.

Robot Staring Contest

You will loose.

Great Moment In Robot History: Robot v. Board Of Education

1957 - Little Rock, Arkansas

The first robots selected to attend a human/robot integrated school are escorted by police across the school's campus.

I Don't Really Know What This Is

But it seems like something that would be illegal in America.

Or at least it should be.

If You Want To Play In Texas...

You've got to have a robot in the band.

Robots And Children

They've been doing some studies with robots and children and it turns out they are actually very good with kids.They love playing games with them...

And listening to their stupid songs...

There are even a few new robot day care programs opening up...

But you know, as good as robots are with our chilren, it's ironic because humans aren't aren't nearly as good with robot children.

In fact they are terrified of them...

Robot Penguins: More Like Real Penguins Than You Might Think

Robot Mickey Mouse: Less Like The Real Mickey Mouse Than You Might Think

I mean besides the ears, they are really nothing alike!


I get the feeling that robot is about to kick that guys ass...
Oh by the way...

Robot fact: You never want to mess with a robot's energy drink.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Robot Gang

I was thinking about starting a Robot gang.

But the problem is I only know two robots:
Maybe I'll just start a Robot duo.

Robot Threat

There's been a lot of stories in the press lately about this robot and his plans to burn all human-kind to death.Well, I for one can't blame him.

After all, we're the ones who started this war...

Great Moments In Robot History

Actually this one belongs under Weird Moments In Robot History. My mistake.


Look, I'm sorry.

I would just really rather not talk about this robot if you don't mind.

Just A Few Robot Questions

I think it's only natural that one asks himself a few questions when he finds a picture like this...

Are you looking at this picture?

Why are you looking at this picture?

Why can you not stop looking at this picture?

Do any of you know where this place is?

Robots Are Our Friends

Sometimes a robot friend is the best thing you can get a little girl who is so weird or ugly that she doesn’t have any real friends…
And I guess the same thing can be applied to grown men…

Robot Celebrities: More Like Human Celebrities Than You Might Think

Robot Mixing

I like to think I am an open minded person when it comes to robot relationships.

I don't judge when I hear about a man who loves himself a lady-bot...
And I also fully support a lady who finds herself catching robot-fever...
And robot poligamy? Sure, why not? More power to you...
But I am a man who has limits. And there is one robot couple that I will not stand by and allow my children to have to witness.

Robots and monkeys...
If God had intended monkeys to bread with robots, we wouldn't have made Adam and Eve, he would have made Adambot and Koko.

And just look at the offspring...
It ain't right, I tell you.

It ain't right at all!