Robot Memories

I remember when I was a kid and I watched a robot strangle my best friend to death.

It was the most horrifying experience of my life.

And also the most awesome!

Great Moments In Robots In History

Did you know that Houdini died after being punched in stomach by a robot?
Some people might not understand why that would be considered a "great moment in robot history".

Those people are ignorant.

Robots: More Like Your Teenage Son Than You Might Think

Also your son is kind of a weirdo.

Robot Choose Your Own Adventure

But no matter which adventure you choose, that robot always ends up killing everybody.

Great Robots In Hip Hop

Notorious B.O.T.

R.I.P

The Greatest Magic Trick I've Ever Seen

He uses a double. It's the only way!

Robot Strip Clubs

What happens in Robot Vegas is deleted from his memory drive upon leaving Robot Vegas.

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robot Hands: More Like Our Hands Than You Might Think

Except when they have pinchers.

Then again one time I saw a guy who had pinchers.

Robot Plagiarism

Hey controversial pop singer and American Idol also-ran Adam Lambert, I've an idea for you...

Maybe you could stop stealing your stage act from robots!

Just an idea.

...HACK!

Robot Christmas

This time of the year it is easy to get carried away with such worldly things as Robot Santa...
And robot reindeer...
And even robot presents...
But let us each try our best this season to place our focus on the real reason we celebrate Robot Christmas...

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Great Robots In Literature

H.E.S.T.E.R.

Robot Postcard

"Having a wonderful time. Wish you were an Asian chick."

Battle Of The Cola Robots

When it comes to Cola drinks, we all know that Coke is the industry leader and Pepsi is the runner up.

But how do these two companies compare when it comes to making robots?

Well, here is the Coke-Bot...

And here is the Pepsi-Bot...

Oh well, nice try Pepsi.

But I guess at least you're used to being second place.

Robot Death Panels

I support government sponsored euthanasia-bots.

And not just because I hate old people.

2009 Robot Year In Review

Some people think the most shocking story of 2009 was the tragic death of the robot king of pop...

But I think even more shocking news story was about Robot Tiger Woods...

Robot Elmo: More Like Elmo Than You Might Think

Robot Prophylactics

Even harder to put on than regular prophylactics.

Robot Hate

Yesterday I received a very angry comment on this blog that you can read HERE. I guess that guy doesn't really like robots. Which is a phenomenon we have touched upon here in the past, but perhaps we should address in full today...

Some people hate robots...

And some robots hate people...

And if I am being absolutely honest with myself, I would probably have to side with the latter.

Because seriously, did you see the comment that guy left???

Clarification

Pessimist Prime:

Thinks the glass is half empty.

Optimist Prime:

Can turn into a diesel truck.

Robot Tanks

Now completely Katate-chop proof.

Classic Robot Joke

How many robots does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

One to screw in the light bulb...

And one to f*** your wife while you are at work slaving away in a job you hate, working for some asshole you hate.

------------

Yeah, I don't even get that joke.

And I think it is a little more personal than necessary.

But it is a classic!

Robot Hospital

Welcome to Robot Hospital.

We can help you with all of your robot medical needs.

We have a state of the art emergency room complete with porn star nurses... We specialize in:

Amputations...
Hernia operations...
Pacemakers...Physical therapy...
Face removal therapy...
Epidurals... (Robotchuma Robotchuma!)

And even carpel tunnel surgury...
Because you have to be careful about where you get your robot carpel tunnel surgury done.

This robot went to a non-robot hospital...
(Botchedchuma Botchedchuma)

Startling Stories

So a robot kidnaps a half-naked babe and starts shooting everybody else with his death ray?

If you knew what I knew about robots, you wouldn't find this story all that startling.

In fact, it's pretty typical.

Amazing Adventures

So this robot is making out with a lady while being controlled by a little green monster?

Again, based on my robot experience, this isn't really all that "amazing".

Planete Interdite

I don't know what "planete interdite" means, but this is pretty much business as usual isn't it?

Robots Who Look Like Their Owners

It's a strange phenomenon...

Warning: Never Ask A Robot To Pull Your Finger

They are not familiar with our customs. They don't understand that after they hear the noise they should stop.

They will keep pulling until your finger comes right off your hand.

And that will just result in a smelly and bloody mess for everyone.