Saturday, October 6, 2007

Robot Fact

In some third world countries, a man's wealth is not based upon how much money he has or how much land he owns, but rather on the quality of his robot.
This particular guy is considered the richest man in his village.

Robotchuma Robotchuma!

If robots ever take over the world and kill everybody, I hope they are the kind who look like this.

And that they don't kill me.

New Robot Technology

Not only does this robot walk and talk, he also has the ability to play the trumpet and make old Chinese guys crap in their pants...

Little Robots

Sometimes they are the best friend a retarded guy could ever have.

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

More On Robot Childbirth

One of the biggest differences between robots and humans is that robots think childbirth tickles. In fact, sometimes they are laughing so much they forget to push.

And end up having to get a C-Section.

Great Moments In Robot History

Remember when we dropped the atomic robot on Japan?

Great Moments In Robot History

Remember when the Statue of Liberty attacked a robot with a big crowbar while an old gay guy watched?
Those were wierder times.

Great Moments In Robot History

Can often be confusing.

Robot Street Gangs: Not As Goofy As Real Street Gangs

Robotchuma Robotchuma!

Can you believe some people don't like technology?

Deep Robot Doctrine

If you meet a being who claims to be a robot, offer to shake its hand. If it shakes your hand and crushes all your fingers, you will know it is a real robot.

If it refuses to shake your hand, it still might be a robot - it could just be that it just wasn't programed to shake hands.

Karate Kid 3

I never saw the third Karate Kid movie, but I guess in it Mr. Miyagi trains a girl Karate Kid...
Who is also apparently a robot.

New Developments In Robot Emotions

In the past we have spoken about how many robots today can not only emulate human emotions, but many can actually experience human emotions. Just look at the wide range of emotions these new robots can express:

Email this robot a bomb threat and watch how scared he gets...

If you are ugly and you invade his personal space, watch him get uncomfortable...

This one feels physical pain when you break his fingers...
And he feels emotional pain when you molest him...

What will they think of next?

Robot Roommates

Never clean their side of the room.

Robot Fish: More Like Real Fish Than You Might Think

Robotchuma Robotchuma!

The biggest problem is when I look at her breasts and I see my own reflection...

That'll kill the mood every time.

Three's A Crowd - Even If One Is A Robot

There's nothing worse than when your date brings along her jealous robot friend.

Robot Clone

When I heard they were making a robot clone of this guy, I assumed the robot would be even creepier than he is.

I was wrong.

And I think this lady would agree...

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Robot News: The Freedom Robot

As an answer to terrorism on the whole, New York City officials have decided to place a giant robot called The Freedom Robot at ground zero where the two towers of the World Trade Center once stood.
I know it makes me proud to be an American.
How do you like that shit, Bin Lauden???

Robots In History: A Brief Lesson

Many people, when they think of robots, think of the future. But that's too bad because robots have played a very important roll in history and it is important that we remember that.

For example, did you know that there was a robot on Gilligan's Island?
That's right, but the hostory of Robots actually goes back even further.

Yep, and did you know that Hitler had a robot as a personal bodyguard?

And did you know that many of the early cowboys back in the wild west were acually robots?
And on the other side of the world, many of the ancient Samurai were robots... Many historians also have suggested that Abraham Lincoln was himself was a robot:Do you think that's a lot of history? Huh? Do you think so? Well, what if I were to tell you that they have recently found fossils which suggest that many of what we now call "cavemen" were actually robot cavemen?That's right, and not only that, but some have even suggested that robots are responcible for the death of the dinosaurs:

Well, this has certainly not been a complete nor a comprehensive history of robots, but at least it gives you some perspective on the role that robots have played in our own history.

So now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.

Family Pictures

Some people say I used to look like a robot when I was a kid.

Here is a picture of me and my older brother taken outside my grandma's house back in 1983:

I think they just say that because I used to have kind of a "boxy" torso...

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robot Unicorns: More Like Real Unicorns Than You Might Think

Never Laugh At A Robot

So you think that robot's pretty funny do you? You think it's OK to just laugh in his face, is that right?
Well lady, I don't here you laughing anymore!

MmHm... That's what I thought.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

One of these things is not like the others.
Three of these things are kind of the same.
But one of these things is not like the others.
Now it's time to play our game.
It's time to play our game...

If They Had To Make A Robot Clone...

Why would they make one of this guy?

Simon Says

Simon says - stretch out your arms like this...

Or I will shoot you in the chest with my death ray.

Special Needs Robots

Oh bla dee Oh bla dah.

Artificial Life goes on!

Robot Gynecologists

Alright, I admit I went too far.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Simon Says

Simon says - You shouldn't let your kids get any closer to this robot.

And the robot's parol officer would almost certainly agree with Simon.

Trust Me, Don't Ever Laugh At A Robot

Oh, so you think robots are funny huh?

Well, I bet you don't think they're so funny now, do you?

Do you?

Do you???

Yeah, that's what I thought!!!

The Robot Facts Of Life

Q. What is more disturbing than robot pregnancy?
A. Robot childbirth!