Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Female Robot

As long as there have been huge geeks, there has been the idea of creating a robot woman.

Some even have faces like a your uncle (for the really weird geeks).

Some aren't even humaniod robots - But that doesn't mean they are any less functional where it counts (bringing you a beer and listening to your stories about Star Trek).

But you should be carefull not to make them too much like a real woman - or else that might backfire...

"But I made you... and I love you... Won't you at least look at me... Please say you love me too... Now come on, let's go watch Lord of the Rings... What? ...Won't you at least come with me? ...But I made you and I can terminate your life functions... What do you mean you would like that... don't be like this baby... You'll learn to love me. I know you will."

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Clearing Up Some Confusion

Corky (Life goes on)

Konky (Peewee's Playhouse)
If you still have any questions, please let me know.

Another Helpful Robot

This picture of New Orleans musician, Blind Jesse Robinson demonstrates that even having his hands cuffed behind his back cannot stop a true bluesman from playing the blues – as long as he has his helpful robot to hold his harmonica for him.

Evil Robots: Nature vs. Nurture - An In Depth Analysis

Alright, alright. Everybody keeps talking about how robots are evil and how they might destroy mankind. Well I was hoping to avoid this discussion, but sometimes the best way to address these issues is just to confront them head on.

Yes, sometimes robots can be bad...

But they are not all bad. This one I know for a fact is a very pleasant and jovial robot.

But the question we really should be discussing is - what makes some robots evil and others not evil? Is it nature? Is it nurture? Is it both? To be honest, I don’t have all the answers. But I would like to submit some robot facts for your consideration.

Well, I know that some robots are evil from their creation. Like this guy. There’s no way you could program a robot like this to do anything other than hate and destroy:
This one on the other hand looks like he could have easily been a nice robot, if he hadn’t been so negatively influenced by his evil owner. But since he has, now his only mission can be to hate and destroy.

On the other hand, sometimes an owner will do all that they can to raise their robot as a kind and peaceful robot, but then it is an evil outside force which causes them to hate and destroy...

Finally, sometimes (like us humans) it is love which causes robots to behave in a manner which is evil. Like this robot. Normally, he is a fun-loving and gentile robot, but after finding himself involved in a love triangle – well, now he is behaving in a hatefull and destructive manner - and I submit that if you knew that woman the way he does, you would find his behavior understandable and perhaps even justified.
In conclusion; robots (for the most part) are much like humans when it comes to evil. But I believe it is our responsibility to do whatever we can to set a good example for them. And if, after all we can do, the robots are still evil - well in that case, I believe we should find some way to reflect their death rays or try to short circuit their control panels.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Save Your Robot Judgement

Before you laugh at a robot and make fun of him for walking funny and his spurs...

Maybe you should get to know him. For all you know, he has a wife and robot dog at home who love him very much.

And who the hell do you think you are anyway?

New Robots Coming Soon...

They just released these sketches of the new robots they are working on for 2007. I know which one I like...

Thursday, February 8, 2007


One aspect of robot history that most robots would like to forget...

Do Robots Believe In God?

Most robots are Agnostic, but this robot has a deep rooted faith in God Jesus:

Also, some robots are Muslim:

Unfair Robot Judgement

I don't know anything about this robot, but he looks like an asshole.

And not just because of his mullet.

Robots Help Us

Robots are progromed to help humans with all kinds of tasks.
This robot was designed to help out on the farm.

These robots are bodyguards for a welthy Korean business man (Hubo is threatening the photographer to put away the camera).

This robot will carry you to bed when the creepy guy with socks and sandles slips you a mickey.

This robot will help massage your lower back.

This one will help massage your upper back.

This one helps you so you don't have to wash your hands after going to the bathroom.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Call Now!

If you enjoy fine blogging about robots like this. We urge you to call and place your pledge now.

Robots are standing by to take your call.

Only The Penitent Robot Will Pass...

What Is Art?

Nude Descending a Staircase - Marcel Duchamp

Robot Descending a Staircase - Billy Chang

Is She or Isn't She?

Sometimes you might find a little girl and wonder if she is a robot. To help you determin her robotisity, I am including the following checklist. If you answer yes to any of these questions, it's a safe bet that she is a robot.

Does she talk like a robot?
Does she often bend metal or break things?
Does she lift up the entire couch to vacume under it?
Does she sleep in a cupboard?

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Robots: More Like Us Than You Might Think

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Robot Fact

Some robots have shirts that roll on - like a condom.

(Human Fact: Some human girls are ugly)

Did I Mention That Some Robots Are Gay?

'Cause yeah...

Teacher Robots

In an effort to move the American education system into the 21st century, some school districts have recently started hiring robots as teachers. They are programmed to do everything that human teachers can do, however they can also shoot lazers out of their eyes. Look at this one. She teaches little kids in Orange shirts.
This one on the other hand teaches children in red shirts.

Chilren can feel free to touch the robot teachers - but don't worry, she has been programmed not to touch the children back.

This is another robot teacher. He specifically teaches Kindergarden.

But be carefull students, because he is the self proclaimed "Party Pooper".

A Word From Our Sponsor

This blog is being brought to you the good people at Sapolio. Don't worry it's not bad like Polio, it's a good thing. It's like lotion - but for robots.

If you don't believe me, just ask the man from Panville...

Also notice that in this add they can't say anything without using quotation marks. That is because the designer was a idiot.

Do Robots Have Emotions?

Yes, some robots are very advanced and possess human emotions. Take for example Tobar The Great. Not only does he have human emotions, but he has every human emotion. Apparently including lust...

Some other robots however are mutch less advanced and do not possess emotions or personalities. In fact some are just plain boring. For example, this piece of shit robot:

Can I Tickle My Robot?

Don't worry, this isn't some kind of double entendre or cheap joke. It's a legitimate question.

Some robots do like to be tickled. Like these guys. Especially the first one - look how much he is enjoying that boy tickling him...

This guy on the other hand, doesn't strike me as the kind of robot who would enjoy being tickled:
And I sure as hell wouldn't try to tickle this one: